Let me make one thing perfectly clear between us from the beginning, before you invest any more time reading this.

I am not a blogger.

I'll leave that to the professionals; the fashiony-how-to-ers, and the backyard-mommy-dyi-ers.

So, if you're looking to learn the celebrity secrets of applying lip gloss, or how to host a rustic wedding in 3 easy steps, you should stop right here.

As I said, I'm not a blogger.

Then why the hell am I reading this junk? you're probably thinking. I thought this was a blog.

Steady now . . . just take a breath, and ease your finger off the trigger of that hot glue gun.

This is a "blog". But putting it together has been about as much fun for me as waiting for a sunburn to blister and peel.

Originally, I was set on making this a long-winded, elaborately illustrated, behemoth of a post. 

Na, I reconsidered, that might be a little much to digest. Especially for people just passing through, or the hoards of headline skimmers out there.

Keep it simple then. Right? 

Say, "Hello! Thanks for visiting the all new BTC website." Slap on an illustration, cut the big yellow ribbon, and send everyone on there way.

That option was okay, but lacked sustenance. No meat on the bone.

I wanted people to know about all of the soul-bearing information on the "BIO" page. To explore the commentary below the "DRAWINGS" and "PAINTINGS"! That the "PRINT SHOP" is open for business! And the "BROTHEL" . . . well, you'll just have to go and see for yourself.

I had to figure out how to include all of that, plus a drawing.

The second part should've been easy. There was one I'd been saving for this exact purpose. Except, when I pulled it out of storage, I wanted to redo the big rock with moss on top instead of grass, spread out all the smaller ones, and lift the whole thing off the ground. Basically, it would need a complete overhaul.

What I did not need, was to waste more time tinkering with a drawing for this silly blog.

I was right, it worked! You've read the whole thing. Or at least skimmed down this far. Either way, I'll consider it a win. Not bad for an old drawing and a some disjointed ramblings.

I owe you a boat-load of appreciation for sticking with me while I stumbled through my very first blog post. There's so many other things you could've been reading, clicking on, or scrolling through. So many more informative things.

Just so you don't feel totally slighted, I'll end this with a tip: When nothing else is working . . . use a wooly bugger. 

With that nugget of useful knowledge, consider the fat yellow ribbon officially cut!

Now all I have to do is find 4 quick-and-simple-things to do with a giant pair of scissors.

Welcome to Beneath the Cyclops.

J.